The Wisdom Of Miss Sally 9.5.15

Sally Blane and Loretta Young between scenes of TLYS episode "Three Minutes Too Late," 1954.

Sally Blane and Loretta Young between scenes of TLYS episode “Three Minutes Too Late,” 1954.

In my continuing conversations with the remarkable Robert Foster, I’m starting to think that Miss Sally is basically my spirit guide, haha. We spoke a bit about his experiences with the snide and hurtful comments made by people who considered themselves “insiders” on Judy Lewis’ parentage and the events surrounding her conception.

People my age and *gulp* younger take for granted that, for most of our lives, the Uncommon Knowledge has been quite common. We’re not family, of course, but these days, it’s just the truth. Clark Gable was Judy Lewis’ father, and we can say that just as simply as we say that, oh, Vincente Minnelli is Liza’s father. Go back a few decades, though, and that wasn’t the case. People still acted like they were some big shot, if they knew, and would puff up their chests as they railed on Loretta’s image. People being people, with a tendency to be utter douche nozzles whenever they think they have the upper hand or some higher moral standing, they didn’t take issue with being nasty and rude to Loretta’s family, either.

What to do? Robert asked his mother what he should say, in these situations. Miss Sally, not one to cower from anything, said…

If they really go on about it, just say, “Oh, well Aunt Loretta really likes women.”

HOLY DAMNIT CHRISTMAS, WHAT WAS THAT, ELIZABETH JANE? To take it at face value, it seems cruel to Loretta, but it’s so far from it, we’ve done gone out of left field and hit the parking lot two towns over. I see the hamsters running a mile a minute while everyone gasps, “But what did she mean, though?!”

I’m so glad you asked! This is part of the essence of Miss Sally. She could cut people with her words, even if she said something so off the wall that all it did was shut them the hell up. OH GOD, I FEEL THAT. People, in our lives, will say some absurdities. This, sadly, isn’t always a nice world. You will encounter bullies from the day you begin your social endeavors until the day you end them. For the most part, you will be able to handle them tactfully and with grace. Some of them, though, will just not take a hint. That is when you turn it all around on them, make them swallow their tongues, and walk away. Because again, who the hell are THEY?! If you know the truth and you know that a person is just being flat out dumb or rude, turn it around, show them exactly how stupid they look to the world by paraphrasing them or just pulling some full on loco nightmare ridiculous story AT them. We’ll call it Mirror Therapy. And, if all else fails, hit them with the mirror.*

*Don’t hit them with the mirror. That’s bad and also assault with a shiny weapon. Sally would not approve. Neither would I.

Bet & Gretch, filed under "Not Actually Twins."

Bet & Gretch, filed under “Not Actually Twins.”


6 thoughts on “The Wisdom Of Miss Sally 9.5.15

  1. Well done, Kayla and Robert, I’d never heard that story before – I love that Aunt Sally’s voice sounds so clear and true with this quote. Her way of protecting her sister, as always! Thanks for another insightful article!

    • I don’t quite know the proper way to say this, but the jist is that I’m so glad that she’s being presented accurately! Obviously no one is or would do it any other way, but it’s validating to know that people who knew and loved her are like, “Yep, that’s Sally!” 🙂

  2. I believe you are 100% correct in feeling that Miss Sally is your spirit guide. Give ’em heck, Kayla! I’d absolutely love to use Mirror Therapy with one particular ‘author’. I’d also like to tell her that she needs to label her profile picture as ‘This was me forty years ago.’

    As for Loretta, I believe her spirit is truly thankful that she has you on her side!!

    • Oh come now, it was only 21 years ago, lol.
      It’s kind of odd how I came to the realization that I needed to know more about Sally. Of course she’s gorgeous and Lo’s sister and all, but it was the pictures of her from later years that got me interested. She’s always doing something totally different that the rest of a group. If they’re looking at the camera, she’s yelling to someone across the room. Or she’s laughing. Or sitting on a couch with people, the only one still in her sunglasses and floppy hat. I was like, “This lady is legit, no nonsense, just BEING.” Goals! 😉

  3. More great words of wisdom. I’m really beginning to appreciate this family. And I have to admit it took me a minute to figure out which sister was which in that first photo.

    • I’m fine on the first photo, and was quite proud of myself for being able to place the setting! That second one, though! I cropped it down, but in the full photo, all of the sisters and their brother are standing behind Gladys. Mental inventory goes, “Georgiana, Loretta, Sa- BACK UP, Sally, Loretta…” haha

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